Monday, December 31, 2012

20 Questions for 2011

[I started this post draft in 2010 I suppose. I'm going to post it half-answered, in an attempt to revisit someday and measure my progress. The answers in italics are from EOY 2010 and after reviewing them this NYE 2012, nothing has changed.]

1. What questions should I be asking myself?

Questions that help me understand if I am happy with who I am and how I got here. Questions that force me to answer how I feel about my life in this moment, so that I can reflect on them in the future and see progress, regress, success, and contentment.

2. Is this what I want to be doing?

Honestly I can't imagine myself doing anything else. I am not a performer, so I don't long to be on a stage. I can't remember meeting anyone recently where they explained their job or what they do, and I thought to myself, "Wow! That sounds amazing, I could totally see myself doing that." Perhaps I thought instead, "Now that sounds 'interesting'" and almost always I thought, "That sounds good for him/her, but it is not for me."

3. Why worry?

I worry about love and offspring (or lack there of), but not about where my life is headed. I probably should worry more about my mother and my brother and family in general, but I don't. Worry is not a frequent word in my vocabulary, unless I am in a relationship where there are feelings of doubt (which is common) and I worry my feelings aren't being reciprocated. Until I can learn to read minds, I will most likely always worry about this. Occasionally, I worry about the way I look, but for the most part I am confident in my own skin.

4. Why do I like {cupcakes} more than I like {people}?

5. How do I want the world to be different because I lived in it?

A good friend told me once, that if I like someone there is never any doubt. I share how I feel openly and I show it too. My friends know they are loved and I want the world to be a different place because I brought friends together. Another friend told me I am a connector. Funny enough, I connected these two friends and they are in a healthy, happy, and loving relationship, so they are both probably biased. But do I want to invite the cure for cancer or even a new swim stroke to be approved for the US Federation of Swimming? No, probably not. I am not a big achiever, I am small achiever and just hope the world remembers me by pushing up fragrant flowers from the earth where my ashes are spread instead of kudzu or stink-weed.

6. How do I want to be different because I lived in this world?



7. Are {vegans} better people?

8. What is my body telling me?

9. How much junk could a chic chick chuck if a chic chick could chuck junk?

10. What's so funny?

11. Where am I wrong?

12. What potential memories am I bartering, and is the profit worth the price?

13. Am I the only one struggling not to {fart} during {yoga}?

14. What do I love to practice?

15. Where could I work less and achieve more?

16. How can I keep myself absolutely safe?

17. Where should I break the rules?

18. So say I lived in that fabulous house in Tuscany, with untold wealth, a gorgeous, adoring mate, and a full staff of servants...then what?

19. Are my thoughts hurting or healing?

20. Really truly: Is this what I want to be doing?

LIST SOURCE

Whirlwind 2012 in Review

I awoke this morning in a sea of pale blue crisp sheets, warm and rested; Will slumbering lightly beside me.  The year of 2012 has been amazing for me and my small family here on Edmund Street.  I think of Will, the dog, and myself as a small family.  I plan our meals like a family head would, I check in after a long work day to see if there are evening dinner dates or what time we're going to the gym, and when the holidays roll around there are multiple schedules to consider before settling on a date.  I'm no longer alone, single, solo, unaccompanied, or leaving the +1 box blank on RSVPs.  I believe that I will be checking that +1 box for years to come with Will at my side, and I'm grateful for having a caring companion to share life's many adventures with.

I leave for Shanghai tomorrow and I'm thrilled and anxious at the learning that will ensue on the first days of the 2013 year.  Asia is quite foreign to me and everything I know or understand about the culture, I've learned from movies or NPR.  During the past two years, my interactions with Asian colleagues is frequent but I doubt how truly ready I am for the cultural differences I am about to witness.  I welcome it, as always, when it comes to travel and learning.  For, "one who makes no mistakes, makes nothing at all," Giacomo Casanova.

Iron Mountain Trail, TN
It's been an amazing year...we survived last New Year's Party at CA's and kept things rolling until February when my Grandmother Jean Ruth turned 82.  In March, we celebrated our one year anniversary with a snowy icy hike along the former AT - Iron Mountain Trail, TN. Check out the natural shelter that Will made and the fire I built during the slight snow storm.
Savannah, GA
Will's friends and I threw down in Savannah for St. Patty's Day.  Talk about a party!  I had so much fun, I got my face painted.  Safe to say it's the only time this year that I was that "spontaneous".

Cary, NC
In April, I completed my first duathlon in Cary in 2:01, it would've been less than two hours but I missed the last turn for the finish line on the bike portion and added on a couple minutes.  Oh well, still felt good to run 2.5 bike 18 and run 2.5 miles for the finish.  As always with the onset of summer, May was a busy month - camping & biking in Uwharrie, graduation parties, Memorial Day celebrations at East Fork, more bikes rides through the Smoky Mountains, purchase of the new car aka "the FJ" and a bachelorette party.  In June, the first of my best friends got married at Marbles, Will turned 25 at Kings Dominion theme park and pretty much everybody else that I know had a birthday too!


Kings Dominion, VA
After KD, we spent the first week of July exploring the Adirondacks, which is a gorgeous spot and mother nature at her best.  Following our trip to NY I flew to CT for our annual HR meeting and enjoyed a nice dinner boat trip along the river, passed the Statue of Liberty and the Brooklyn Bridge.  I stopped over in Greenpoint to visit my dearest friend and hit the trendy wine bars and pictured myself walking the streets of Willamsburg.  Unfortunately, my beau would have nothing of living in the city - he longs for returning to the NC mountains, which I'm sure we'll do some day.

Brooklyn, NY
My brother and cousin came down for a visit in August and we drank ourself silly before and after the Allman Brothers & Lynrd Skynrd concert.  I would like to go on record by saying that the Lynrd Skynrd concert was one of the best shows I have ever seen in my life.  I grew up listening to them and the setlist brought my teenage years flooding back to me.  It was amazing.  For our mid-August trip, we headed to Pipestem State Park for the Waters Family Reunion.  Baby George was the baby super star and we shared a cabin with my cousins, which was quite fun.

Mordecai House,  Raleigh
In September there was a neighborhood wedding, which I almost missed because I had the time wrong.  But all was saved and we were there to see the happy couple ride off under sparklers on the bike rickshaw. We spent a lovely Friday night Shakori Hills Music Festival in mid-October and I turned 32 in late-October.  Will set for (and passed) the FE exam.  I finally made it Moogfest in Asheville, and I successfully made it through another Halloween without donning a costume!  We saw Baby George turn one year old in Winston at his birthday party and spent Thanksgiving at Camp Creek with Will's family this year.  We made our annual trip up to Painter Knob to sweep out the cabin and get some good one-on-one time.  We love that place, so remote, so rustic and so perfect.  This Thanksgiving, I had so much to be thankful for - safety, security, love, family, friends, good health, and wanting for nothing.  I am truly blessed.
Painter Knob cabin, this photo is from May - but you get the idea.
December in Raleigh is not wintery at all.  In fact, I think it was 70+ degrees the weekend of the 15th and my friends and I went for a 2 hour bike ride.  It rarely snows, and when it does it's a sputtering.  My wonderful friends from college and I finally got together for a reunion in DC, one of the highlights of this year.  We spent two days just us girls talking about girl stuff and I needed.  As we round out the year today, we will celebrate with a bonfire party and I will burn a small piece of paper with all the things I wish to let go of in 2013 and all which I wish to focus on.  I started yoga practice in November and it's been like an awakening to a peaceful state of bliss that I was unaware of.  Lastly, I want to share a photo from last weekend - Will and I hiked to Pinnacle Rock in western NC and then over to Black Rock, it was a helluva hike but it was grand!  I'm looking forward to another glorious year of learning, seeing, hearing, doing, and experiencing life.

Atop of Pinnacle Rock, December 27th 2012